Divorce can be one of life’s most emotionally disruptive events, but it doesn’t have to be. While divorce can get out of your control, the way you manage your emotions will have a significant impact, positive or negative, on the expense of your divorce. It largely comes down to mindset, and with the appropriate mindset, you can achieve just about anything.
It’s a tough call to make when you choose to end your marriage, you’ll journey through conflicting emotions, ranging from relief to doubt to fear. While it is easy to say keep your emotions in check, many of us need help to do just that. Your emotions can easily get the better of you and you can quickly become your own worst enemy. Animosity and anger can trigger desires to punish, use kids as leverage and make entirely unreasonable, unfair and unjust demands of the other. Most, if not all of this, is short sighted and about trying to satisfy one’s own self-interest.
Control Divorce Emotions
The 5 stages of grief are also the most common emotions people experience during the divorce process. They include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Denial – Regardless of who might initiate the divorce, most of us go through some form of denial.
Anger – Anger is all too common in divorce and is the emotion that causes the most difficulty. When anger takes over, we lose control of our emotions. We blame and often seek emotional justice. Our decisions are rash and irrational as we make it harder on ourselves. There is no upside to anger, only downside.
Bargaining – Whether you are bargaining with yourself or negotiating with the other, we all do it. We won’t get everything we want, and that is to be expected. As long as we retain our integrity, be transparent and keep focused on a peaceful future, bargaining can be pretty easy with the proper mindset.
Depression – Depression can be real for some while only slight for others. It’s important to note that the depth of depression is often closely tied to the amount of one’s anger. However, as in other aspects of life, by focusing on being thankful and grateful for our blessings is one of the best antidotes for depression.
Acceptance – Most people find what they consider peace through acceptance. Acceptance helps us let go of the past and most negative emotions to make room for future possibilities and next chapters.
One goal of SplitSmart is to help people control their emotions in the divorce process. We know that our emotions are sparked by the fear of the unknown and by our perception of what the other is doing or claiming. To minimize these sparks, we designed our process like a business transaction in order to separate emotions from the task at hand.
Organization Puts You InControl
Organization is the key to controlling our emotions. As we organize ourselves, we shine a light on the unknown so we can make intelligent decisions and turn fear and anxiety into calm and a plan. As the other organizes themselves, each becomes transparent with the other. Instead of relying on our perceptions of the other that may spark anger, transparency helps build trust between the parties. Trust is the perfect antidote to anger.
SplitSmart the perfect organization tool to help everyone control their emotions during divorce and keep them on the path to a simple, inexpensive and healthy divorce.
Learn how easy it is to have control at SplitSmart.com